Maude

Maude, is an 8 month old Burmese kitten prone to exaggeration, mischief and if she doesn't get her own way, brief bouts of melancholy. She revels in attention, and loves to make a scene. She is never hungry, but is often starving and dinner is demanded with the certain knowledge of impending doom. She is never cold but shivers like a Dickensian pauper, crawling under the bed covers and burying her body in the crook of my arm before falling into an exhausted sleep. When she is quiet she is most definitely up to something and before long she has clambered up the cat stairs to the top of the platform. Designed for much larger cats, the bed is 12ft off of the ground with steps that are at least three feet apart. Maude has managed a climb that many full grown cats struggle to achieve. She stares down at me from the top, enjoying her newfound power. I stare back up at her, wondering how I will get her down.

‘Meooooooooww’ she cries when she realises she is stuck. I fetch a ladder and after a little fuss and accusatory stares she allows me to pluck her from the top and carry her down. 5 minutes later and she is back at the top again waiting impatiently to be rescued and carried to safety. ‘Maude’ I say exasperated when carrying her down the ladder for the fourth time in the same amount of minutes.

At Maude’s beck and call for the foreseeable future, i finally I decide to temporarily remove the third step to stop her getting to the top..

Thirty minutes later I arrive back from the shops. Maude is nowhere to be seen. I search the flat high and low before grabbing the ladder and climbing to the top. Sure enough Maude is fast asleep, atop the platform bed. She opens a sleepy eye before stretching out her two front paws and allowing herself to be lifted down to the ground.

By the time of Maude’s departure I am resigned to my fate. Maude climbs up to the platform bed whenever she pleases, enjoying a birds eye view of her queendom. She wails heartily when she wants to come down, hopping daintily into my arms as I ascend and descend the ladder like her own personal stair lift.